Questions Asked
QUESTIONS ASKED
Once again I find myself standing before my easel. I am standing off to one side staring at an unfinished painting wondering where do I go next with this painting. The painting is an experiment with three colors, a bright yellow- green, a blue violet and a bright orange.As I cast my eyes at the colors, I notice how the canvas leans on the easel. I saw how the canvas was angled. The painting touches the crossbar and then touches the mast. Gravity holds it all in place. If it was not leaning, could the painting stand on its own? Would I paint it the same way? The leaning of this painting is impart, part of the painting. The support allows me to see. When the art is complete it no longer leans.It stands on its own merit.
The question I put to myself is, do I support myself or do I lean? The self-support I am referring to is the internal support. I think each of us lean in our lives sometime. In that leaning comes the building blocks of trust. How I get through personal problems has changed. I no longer feel the need to seek corroboration, validation or for another opinion in my life issues. There is only one source for answers, and the source is me.The days of needing a sounding board to make sure I was in the right key of life are long gone. I hear my own tune, in my own pitch, and what might be off key for you, is just perfectly fine with me. Whether or not anyone else can live with it, doesn't matter. Does that mean I live like an island? I think not. But sharing a thought and airing an issue with a friend over a cup of tea, is far different from looking for my answers in someone else’s life experience. My life; my problems; my answers; my direction; to my end.
Perhaps the leaning painting and the leaning person have something in common. Just as the supported painting allows the artist to see; the supported person learns to see herself, until she is free to see on her own and stand on her own self given merit.
.While leaning might be okay for art work in the making, long term leaning hampers the making of a human life. I rather stand and try life.
Posted in Embracing Myself. Updated October 11th, 2010.
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