A Paintless Month
When it Feels like Slipping Away
Sometimes, in my own creating of art, fear is present. It is a bone chilling fear that whispers, "there is nothing more to paint." Let me clarify that, I have nothing more to paint. How obsured that sounds but at times it does not feel obsured but very real. In light of a large investment in a complete set Mount Vision Pastels , it terrifies me to think I am painted out.
It has been a long month plagued with a variety of illnesses and a hospital visit, which have interrupted my art process. I have dabbled in some work in a most unispired way. Each time, I walk away feeling the nothing of empty creation. I am not sure what this muse of mine is doing right now, all I am sure of is that I am frustrated. I feel distant from the inspiration that usually walks and talks to me day in and day out.Where has she gone, my muse?
I get these wonderful ideas, new ways to put pastel to a surface, new images un-yet tried. Then I approach the surface and the images fades,the ideas dim, the result of the dabbling brings me to neither wonder nor imagination. It brings me to blah! Pieces, I want to just cut up and toss away.
All at once the answer came to me I badly I need a hiatus from creativity. Since 2003, I have done nothing but create. I have drawn and painted in several mediums. I have drawn alone and with a child. I have used two hands, a left and or just a right hand. I have created with my eyes open and closed, with my heart open and closed and with my dream both open and closed. I have created with a goal in mind and a with simple mindlessness.
Now I am tired. I need a time away to rest the working eyes. So I am giving myself a hiatus. In January, I will resume the creative path. I need time to embrace myself.
06-November - 2010
Posted in Embracing Myself on December 28th, 2010. 2 comments so far.
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stephanie said:
I understand when the art within you becomes dormant. In my case art is the desiring escape and life so easily disguises the liberation that comes of it. Ah, life. If life isn't so beautiful in reality at least it can be in medium. Good luck to you.